Gucci Mane, or as he’s better known around MarsBands.com, “Fucking Idiot“, tried to get his jail-time cut in half. Oh, surprise, surprise. A Rapper in jail.
Anyway, before I tell you how he tried to get his sentence reduced, first, let’s review why he’s some-big-dude-named-Butch’s bitch.
Apparently Gucci picked up some woman from a mall. The woman believed they were going out for breakfast, but Gucci had lovin’ on the mind and instead wanted to take her back to an uber-romantic hotel. The woman declined Mane’s offer and was promptly escorted out of the moving vehicle courtesy of a helping hand/push from Mane.
So, after getting sentenced to just six months in jail for two counts of battery, two counts of reckless conduct and one count of disorderly conduct, Gucci grew tired of constantly dropping the soap. In a moment of sheer stupidity, Gucci thought it would be a good idea to hold a concert to benefit the DeKalb County Battered Women’s Shelter in exchange for a reduction in his sentence. The judge who reviewed the “offer”, Elanor Ross, said “I don’t think it would be appropriate to let him out just because he’s a rapper.” The Judge also added that Gucci was a fucking idiot (OK, the judge didn’t say that, I did).
First off, congrats to the Judge for not letting that stupid fuck out of jail early. Secondly, congrats to the woman who said no to Mane’s advances. Thirdly, six months of jailtime? For pushing someone out of a moving vehicle? That’s it?!
Fortunately for people who don’t think pushing other people out of moving vehicles is cool, the woman who was assaulted has filed a civil suit against Gucci Mane. She identified him by the ice-cream cone tattoo on his face. Yup. An ice-cream cone tattoo… on his face. What a BAMF. That is hardcore. Surprising that hasn’t caught on with other fucking idiots around the world.
Rappers, this is why you’ll never be featured on MarsBands.com. Maybe some of you are respectable people (I have yet to find one, but never say never, right?), but the majority appear to be brainless, talentless, disrespectful shmucks. Gucci Mane, man-up, you fucking bitch. You pushed someone out of a moving vehicle. You got off easy with only six months of butt-rapes. Count your blessings and take it like a man.
